Bathford Vs Venturers, Wednesday August 4th

Venturers 128-4, Bathford 122-8

This was a very uncompetitive match, as evidenced by the fact that we won it. The most uncompetitive moment of all came about when one of our two ringers, name of Hendo, induced a top edge towards midwicket. Gregory walked towards the ball, with a general idea of perhaps catching it, and the other ringer, a friend of the bowler’s, shouted from mid-off “that’s your catch, Hendo!”. So Gregory stopped, expecting to be wiped out if he didn’t, but the bowler was simply watching proceedings from the crease and was being wound up by his mate. Then there was Bruce’s self-called no-ball, after he had accidentally bowled a young boy first ball; the absurd run-out they presented us with; their quixotic decision to have everybody bowl two overs; the half-trackers that four of us started our bowling spells with; their quixotic decision to retire at 25, or when they noticed they had 25; Yameen’s quixotic attempt to retire too; the wild swing their opener played to his first ball from Gregory (he got away with it, but we would have used a review for LBW if we had had any); the five consecutive ducks that they made.

But there was also some more competitive cricket. Their left-handed opener, who made 59 not out (he unretired after we got everybody else out); Simon’s competently-taken skier; the highly competitive not to say vehement way in which Gregory, unamused by the earlier shenanigans, called for the next top edge; Hendo’s startlingly effective bowling; two immaculate overs from Steve Dent, which Yameen could do nothing with; a capable spell from Bruce; Hugh’s fielding; their opening bowler’s two overs for one run and one wicket; Farooq’s 45 not out, and Yameen’s long partnership with him; Farooq’s two overs at the end; and Tor’s reliable keeping.

And then there were some things that were simply bizarre. Farooq, early in his innings, hit a straight drive which the bowler semi-deliberately deflected onto the stumps, but though the Zing bails zinged, or zang, whichever it is, they did not fall. Yameen was in his ground anyway. Later a throw from Bruce hit the stumps with the same effect. They bowled two return-crease no-balls, and somehow broke the sanitiser bottle. A swarm of insects occupied most of the available air for much of our innings. We had to bat first. Gregory did catch the next top edge, thereby unretiring the opener and nearly losing us the match. We got the feeling that one often gets at Bathford, that the field is suddenly going to tilt just a little bit more, and everything will slide off, down to the railway line at the bottom.

We had enough runs because Farooq, Yameen, Steve and Simon had made some. We won because when their openers had retired the next eleven overs cost thirty-three, so that when the left-hander did return they needed forty off the last four. The tail-ender proved good enough to get him back on strike when necessary. But Yameen, and especially Farooq, got past his bat often enough to prevent him doing enough damage; and when he did miss, Tor, in the fading light and with an indefensible boundary behind him, invariably stopped the ball cleanly.