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Overwhelming feelings

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this guide will help you understand what you’re going through and regain a sense of calm and control.

Tips and tools to help manage overwhelming feelings.

Being overwhelmed by our feelings is something many of us experience from time to time. Whether due to academic pressure or personal challenges, strong feelings like anxiety or anger can build up so much that they start to seem unmanageable.

When you get emotionally overwhelmed, you might react with an outburst out of proportion to the situation, experience a panic attack or simply stay in bed because daily life seems too much.

Over time, feeling overwhelmed can lead us to withdraw from friends and family. You might find it hard to concentrate in lectures or remember what we’ve been learning. You might have trouble sleeping.

For some, overwhelming feelings can lead to distress and unhealthy coping behaviours, such as turning to alcohol or drugs, self-harm, or even thoughts of suicide.

The good news is that there are plenty of better ways to regulate your own emotions so you can calm down enough to think clearly and perhaps do something about what’s upsetting you so much.

Why do I get overwhelmed?

Emotions are a necessary and important part of life. They evolved to help us interpret what’s going on around us and prepare the body for action. Whether it’s fear or trust, anger or joy, we need our feelings to guide our behaviour. But sometimes our emotions are less helpful.

When we go through difficult life experiences but don’t get a chance to express our feelings or make sense of what’s happened, feelings can build up inside us to the point we get overwhelmed.

We might develop a tendency to misinterpret experiences as far worse than they actually are. Poor performance in an exam or an awkward social situation can then feel catastrophic.

For some of us, difficult emotions from our early life – like fear, shame or anger – are stirred up in ways we don’t fully realise. If past feelings weren’t safely expressed or understood, they can resurface suddenly. It’s like carrying emotional weight we didn’t know we had.

What can I do right now?

  • Pause and breathe
    When emotions feel intense, it can help to take some moments to bring attention to your breathing. Try this simple technique: Inhale slowly for a count of three, pause, then exhale slowly for a count of five. Repeat a few times until you feel your heart rate returning to normal, your muscles relaxing and your thoughts slowing down.

  • Relax your body
    Taking each area of your body in turn, tense and then slowly release the different muscle groups. As you move through each area, you’ll feel your body gradually relaxing and your mind becoming calmer.

  • Change your mental focus
    Pick a category of objects and try to think of as many objects as possible that fit within that category (e.g. dogs, cities, fruits). Or pick a letter and think of all the words that begin with that letter. Or say the alphabet backwards.

  • Come back to your senses
    Try the 54321 technique. Slowly and deliberately, use your senses to notice your environment. Name five things that you see, four that you can feel or touch, three that you hear, two that you can smell and one that you can taste. It’s a good way to help you disengage from mental noise and connect you to the present moment. Alternatively, you could take a cool or warm bath or shower.

  • Move
    Physical exercise like a walk, yoga or something more vigorous can help release pent-up feelings and ground you in the present moment. You could even be a bit playful with this. It’s impossible to be panicking if you’re doing a cartwheel!

  • Talk to someone
    Simply sharing your feelings with someone sympathetic and supportive can ease distress even if the other person can’t solve the problem. There’s a good chance that your opening up will strengthen the bond between the two of you as well.

  • Write it out
    Ask yourself- What am I feeling now? Putting words to your feelings can make them more manageable. Don’t worry about making it coherent or correct; just let the words flow.

What can I do over time to become more emotionally stable?

  • Find your tribe
    Where possible, spend time with people you like and trust. We’re social creatures and healthy social connection reduces distress.

  • Be mindful
    Paying more attention to the present moment can reduce stress, stabilise mood and improve overall wellbeing. Day to day, you can cultivate mindfulness by taking short pauses to simply track your breathing or to notice the sensations in the body or the sounds around you. It can also be helpful to do more formal mindfulness practice.

  • Limit social media and internet use
    There's a lot on the internet and social media that may make you feel distressed. It can be hard to avoid. It might help to reduce your phone use, delete some apps and unfollow some accounts that make you feel stressed or that you find yourself comparing yourself to.

  • Remember the basics of physical and mental health
    Get enough sleep, exercise regularly, eat healthily and spend time outdoors in nature. Doing these things will help regulate your mind and body system so you can cope better with life’s challenges.

What about panic attacks?

A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear or discomfort that seems to come from nowhere, often with strong physical symptoms like a racing heart, dizziness or shortness of breath. It’s the body’s emergency response system being triggered inappropriately – frightening, but not dangerous.

Panic attacks are quite common. Studies suggest that one in ten people experiences at least once in their lifetime.

Panic attacks can be frightening, but there are things you can do to help yourself cope.

During a panic attack:

  • Focus on your breathing. It can help to concentrate on breathing slowly in and out while counting to five.
  • Stamp on the spot. Some people find this helps control their breathing.
  • Focus on your senses. For example, taste mint-flavoured sweets or gum, or touch or cuddle something soft.

After a panic attack:

  • Think about self-care. It's important to pay attention to what your body needs after you've had a panic attack. For example, you might need to rest somewhere quietly, or eat or drink something.
  • Tell someone you trust. If you feel able to, it could help to let someone know you've had a panic attack. It could be particularly helpful to mention how they might notice if you're having another one, and how you'd like them to help you.

Videos you can watch

These videos also offer insight into our emotions and tips for managing when we get overwhelmed:

  • KeepCool, created by King’s College London and the NHS, is a video series that focuses on core emotions like anxiety, sadness, and anger. It explains how to experience them without being overwhelmed, with clear, science-based tips.
  • How to Process Your Emotions is a calming, animated exploration of why emotions often feel deeper than we realise and how giving them attention helps them lose intensity, then become easier to manage.
  • How to Stop Panic Attacks offers clear, science-backed strategies from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help you understand what’s happening during a panic attack and how to calm your body and mind.

Apps you can use

Our free Be Well app is full of practical tools to help you manage your wellbeing. It includes a podcast on feeling overwhelmed as well as guided breathing exercises and meditations.

Meanwhile, Insight Timer and Medito are two free mindfulness meditation apps. They include talks and guided meditations to help you reduce stress and manage your mood.

Feeling Good is an NHS-approved app that offers audio tracks based on evidence-based techniques to help with anxiety, low mood and emotional distress.

Podcasts you can listen to

Helpful websites

People you can talk to

If you’re not making any progress in managing overwhelming feelings and it all feels too much, there are people here at Bath who can help.

  • You can call our Be Well – Talk Now phoneline any time on 0800 028 3766.
  • Or come and talk things through with one of the Student Support Advisors in the Roper Centre at 4 West. They will listen, offer suggestions and can refer you for counselling.

Stay safe
If your feelings get so out of control that you feel unsafe, contact Security on 01225 383999 (available 24/7) if you’re on campus or call 999 if you’re off campus.

Alternatively, get in touch with one of these organisations:

  • The Samaritans  can be contacted on 116 123
  • SHOUT offers a 24/7 text-based volunteer crisis support line - text 85258
  • Papyrus Hopeline UK is a volunteer crisis line to support young people at risk of suicide.

Final thoughts

It’s important to remember that feeling overwhelmed is a normal human response to stress. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or failing. But remember you don’t have to manage alone. If you’re not able to manage your difficult feelings, ask for help.

This page was created by Student Support in partnership with students here at the University of Bath.

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