Everyone has perfectionism to some degree and that can be helpful in some circumstances. However, a high level of perfectionism can be damaging and actually prevent you from succeeding.
It’s when you hold yourself or others to extremely high and often unrealistic standards. There are things that always need to be done just right.
Types of perfectionism
There are a few different types of perfectionism:
Socially prescribed perfectionism
This is feeling pressure from others to be perfect. It's when you think that people around you, like family, friends, or coworkers, expect you to always succeed and never make mistakes. It’s especially common in academic settings, where high achievement can feel expected.
You might:
- Worry about disappointing others
- Feel like your value depends on your performance
- Avoid asking for help in case it makes you seem weak
Self-oriented perfectionism
This is where the pressure comes from within. You set incredibly high standards for yourself and strive to meet them, no matter what. It's a deep belief that you must be perfect in everything you do.
You might:
- Set extremely high standards
- Be very self-critical
- Struggle to celebrate your achievements
Other-oriented perfectionism
This is when you expect others to meet your high standards. You might become frustrated when people don’t do things “the right way” or meet your expectations.
This can sometimes affect your relationships, especially if you find it hard to let go of control or accept different approaches.
How to spot perfectionism
Perfectionism can be hard to spot, ask yourself:
- Do I set unrealistically high standards for myself?
- Do I feel anxious or guilty when I don’t meet them?
- Do I avoid starting tasks for fear of not doing them perfectly?
- Do I struggle to accept praise or celebrate achievements?
If you said “yes” to several of these, perfectionism might be affecting your wellbeing.
Why you might be feeling this way
It’s natural to want to do your best. In some cases, perfectionism is linked with motivation, effort, and success. But over time, constantly chasing perfection can leave you feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted.
You might:
- Overthink tasks and spend hours trying to get them “just right”
- Avoid starting something in case it doesn’t meet your standards
- Procrastinate because the pressure feels too heavy
- Constantly check or redo work, but never feel satisfied
Perfectionism and anxiety are closely connected. You might worry that anything less than perfect means you’ve failed. This can make it hard to enjoy achievements, take breaks, or be kind to yourself.
What can you do to help now?
Most of us can learn to cope with our perfectionism better. Here are things we can all do.
Do not base your self-esteem on how you perform. Instead, try to focus on things you can control, such as being a kind person or how hard you work.
Be more compassionate to yourself. Perfection isn’t attainable.
Set realistic goals. Achieving at university takes time and a lot of work. Success can not happen overnight. Break big tasks into smaller, achievable steps. Use SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals.
Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities. You probably heard the FAIL acronym at school. It means First Attempt at Learning. Mistakes will happen and when they do, focus on the positives and the learning from that.
Done is better than perfect. Start tasks even if they feel messy or uncertain. Set a timer for 20 minutes and allow yourself to create something “imperfect.” You can always come back to it later.
Celebrate your successes instead of focusing on what went wrong or what could be better, try to notice what you did well.
Reduce your social media use. Social media can create constant comparisons. If you’re feeling pressured, try taking a short break — even half a day — and notice how your mood shifts.
Practice self-compassion. Perfectionists are often their own worst critics.
When you’re feeling critical of yourself, here are some questions that can help you increase your self-compassion:
- What would I say to a friend in this situation?
- What are the ways I show others compassion that I can apply to myself?
- What would a friend say to me?
- How can I take care of myself right now?
- What do I need right now that I’m not getting?
Apps and tools you can use
The Be Well app has features to support you if you’re struggling with Perfectionism, including mindfulness podcasts, mood trackers, gratitude tools and journals.
The wellbeing AI can also help you explore resources on the app.
Video resources
These videos explore perfectionism and provide tools to help you feel more secure in yourself:
- Perfectionistic climates explores how environments can increase perfectionistic tendencies and how to be aware of them. (3-minute watch)
- Are you a perfectionist helps to identify perfectionism. (2-minute watch)
Podcasts to listen to
Listening to podcast can be a great way to explore perfectionism and to pick up tips:
The perfectionism podcast on the Be Well app discusses how perfectionism can affect your ability to finish tasks and feel proud of your work. Learn to recognise perfectionistic tendencies and discover strategies to manage them, helping you do well in your assignments while maintaining a happy social life. (20 minute listen)
The Sport Psych Show explore perfectionism in sport.
Helpful Websites
There are many useful resources online that go deeper into managing perfectionism:
- Academic skills explore How to manage academic perfectionism in this blog.
- The Skills centre have an Academic Perfectionism course on MySkills covering how it can impact your study and what strategies you can use to manage perfectionism at university.
- How to Overcome Perfectionism is an article by Positive Psychology that includes worksheet and activities to help combat perfectionism
- 7 ways to overcome perfectionism
- The Centre for Clinical Interventions has a perfectionism workbook to help guide you through how to overcome perfectionism.
People you can talk to
Talking about how you’re feeling can make a big difference. Here are some people who can support you:
- Your Academic advisor can help with worries about your academic performance or meeting expectations.
- Peer mentors may have experienced similar feelings and can share what helped them.
- The Academic Skills centre have experience of academic perfectionism and can signpost you to resources.
If you need to speak to a professional about your wellbeing our Student Support Advice Team are available and offer in person appointments.
Final thoughts
Perfectionism is common, especially at university, but it doesn’t have to control you. With small changes, you can build self-compassion and take the pressure off.
Support is always available if you need it.