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Domestic abuse: support and resources

Understand domestic abuse, find support for yourself, or learn how to support others.

Support is available for domestic abuse

If you are in an abusive relationship or are worried that you might be experiencing domestic abuse, there is support available and someone to listen and help you understand what might be happening. Domestic abuse can have a long-lasting impact on someone’s sense of safety, self-esteem, and future relationships. Everyone deserves to live a life in which they feel safe and are free from fear and abuse.

At the University of Bath, domestic abuse is #NeverOK. The university is committed to fostering a safe, respectful environment and offers trauma-informed support through the Sexual Violence and Domestic Abuse Response Service (SVDARS) or other specialist support.

What is domestic abuse

Domestic abuse is a term that refers to a single incident or pattern of abusive behaviour that can occur in intimate partner relationships or from family members or carers. These abusive behaviours are used by someone to gain power and control over another. Domestic abuse can be experienced by anyone regardless of gender, age, sexuality, race, class, or whether they have a disability. The person causing harm may also be from any identity or background.

Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:

  • Coercive control.
  • Psychological and/or emotional abuse.
  • Physical or sexual abuse.
  • Honour-based abuse.
  • Financial or economic abuse.
  • Harassment and stalking.
  • Online or digital abuse.

The Safelives website provides more information on what is included in these terms and their definitions.

What to look out for

It can be really difficult to consider that someone you care about may be harming you. However, it is important to be honest about how you are feeling and acknowledge when behaviour is causing you stress and harm. Recognising red flags and unhealthy dynamics early can help to prevent it from escalating into something more dangerous and harmful down the line.

Something doesn’t feel right
If you have ever thought that what your partner or family member does or says feels hurtful, controlling, dominating, or possessive, or if you feel that being yourself around them will result in punishment, this may be a sign of domestic abuse.

‘It will never happen again’
Violence is never ok, whether it happens once or is a pattern of behaviour. If they try to excuse or justify their behaviour after they’ve hurt you or swear that it will never happen again, you may be experiencing domestic abuse.

I’m finding it hard to leave the relationship
If you’ve tried to leave the relationship or home and they’ve continually convinced you to stay or threatened to harm you, someone you love, or themselves if you leave, this is a sign of domestic abuse.

I’ve got no one to turn to
Isolation is a common tactic of abuse that forces you to rely on your partner or family member above everyone else. If your partner or family member has told you that you can’t trust anyone but them or has punished you in some way for seeing others, you may be experiencing domestic abuse.

If you’d like support with recognising red flags in relationships, LoveRespect website by Women’s Aid offers guidance to help you spot the signs of an unhealthy relationship before things escalate.

What you can do now

If you suspect you might be experiencing domestic abuse, it’s important to remember you are not alone. There are many support services available to help you feel safer and help you escape a dangerous situation.

If you are at immediate risk:

  • If you are concerned for your safety or you are worried that someone else may be at immediate risk of harm, please call 999 for emergency services.
  • If you are in Bath and you need support (such as accessing emergency accommodation) call University Security on 01225 383999 or via the SafeZone app.
  • Find a safe space. If an incident has just happened, try to find somewhere you feel safe, away from the person at risk of harming you, where you can contact someone for support.
  • Contact the National Domestic Abuse helpline (available 24/7) on 0808 2000 to talk through what you’re experiencing and for help with safety planning, advice and support.

If you’re thinking about leaving the relationship:

If you're considering leaving, be mindful of who you tell. It's important the person abusing you does not know where you're going. Women's Aid has useful advice for people of all genders about how to leave a relationship safely. However, everyone’s situation is different; speaking to a specialist support service can help you to make a personalised safety plan and understand the support available to you.

People you can talk to

Speaking to someone about what’s going on can help. Having another person’s perspective can help you to understand what’s happening and validate how you’re feeling. You’re in control of what you share, you never have to talk about anything you don’t feel safe or comfortable to. You could:

  • Speak to a trusted friend or family member about how you are feeling and the concerns you have in your relationship.

  • Speak to a Student Support Advisor at the Roper Centre at 4 West. They can help you with support and advice and refer you to the Sexual Violence and Domestic Abuse Response Service (SVDARS) or other specialist support.

  • To report domestic abuse to the University you can also use the Support & Report tool; if you leave your contact details a specialist member of Student Support and Safeguarding staff will contact you to discuss options.

  • You can call the Be Well Talk Now phoneline on 0800 028 3766. This is available 24/7 and you can discuss your concerns with an advisor.

  • Speak to a local specialist support service such as Southside who provide targeted and specialist support for people affected by domestic violence and abuse across Bath and North East Somerset.

If you are worried that you are behaving in a way that is abusive in your relationships, there is support available to help you make changes. You can contact the free Respect line on 0808 802 4040.

Look after yourself

Experiencing domestic abuse can affect many aspects of your life, not just your relationship. You might experience exhaustion, overwhelm, anxiety, a loss of interest in hobbies, loss of appetite, sleep problems, panic attacks, depression, and many others.

Finding ways to look after yourself can help you to feel more able to cope when things feel hard.

These self-help guides, produced by specialist organisations, can help with practical advice for managing these feelings:

Helpful websites

Supporting someone who has experienced domestic abuse

It can be hard to know how to support a friend or loved one who is, or you’re worried might be, experiencing domestic abuse. Your first instinct may be to protect them, but intervening directly can be dangerous for both of you. There are ways you can help, and your emotional support can make a real difference.

If you are concerned for your friend's imminent safety please refer to the if they are at immediate risk section.

What can I do to help

If you are concerned someone you care about is experiencing domestic abuse, being there for them, whatever decisions they make, is the most important thing you can do. You can also:

  • Look out for warning signs of abusive behaviour. The LoveRespect website has resources for spotting signs of abuse.
  • Check in with them regularly, a simple text message or phone call, if it is safe to do so.
  • Try to find a safe time and place to talk honestly, away from the person who is causing harm.

If they do want to talk about things, remember that it takes courage to speak about abuse. Many survivors are not believed or dismissed when they share their experiences. If someone reaches out to you, acknowledge that they are taking a brave and important step. They may be in a frightening and complex situation, and your response can be a powerful support.

Here are some helpful tips for how to respond:

  • Listen and believe them: Let them express their feelings and experiences without judgment. Give them time and space to talk and reassure them that they are not alone.
  • Respect their autonomy: Domestic abuse is about control. The person perpetrating the abuse may have taken away their sense of agency and so it’s important they are empowered to decide what happens next. Avoid making decisions for them or pressuring them to act. Instead, let them know that support is available whenever they’re ready.
  • Avoid judgment: They may choose not to leave or seek help right away. That’s okay. It’s important not to force this or judge them. Let them set their own boundaries and trust that they know what feels safe.
  • Know when to act: If you believe someone is in immediate danger, call the police or encourage them to do so if they feel able.
  • Offer practical support: If they disclose physical abuse, you could offer to accompany them to a GP or hospital. If they want to report the abuse, you can help them contact the police or university support services.
  • Challenge harmful messages: The abuser may have told them they deserve the abuse. Remind them that this is not true. No one deserves to be threatened or hurt. The abuser is solely responsible for their actions.
  • Prioritise safety: Avoid confronting or engaging directly with the person causing harm, as this could increase risk for both of you. Instead, focus on what support you feel comfortable providing and encourage them to connect with specialist services who can help safely navigate the situation.

Linking in with professional support

Speaking to someone about what’s going on can help. Support is available for you and your friend. You can share the information about reach out for support and there are support options for you there too. If you speak to a professional about the person you’re worried about, you should always check with them first before you disclose personal details and information about them.

Looking after yourself whilst supporting others

Supporting someone who is experiencing domestic abuse can be emotionally challenging. You might feel confused, overwhelmed, or unsure about how best to help. It’s completely normal to have strong feelings about what’s happening and what you think should happen next.

Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries and take care of your own needs and it’s important to ask for help when you need it.

Try to stay connected with your own support networks and make time for the things you enjoy, like hobbies or sports, these are essential for your wellbeing. Be mindful of the small things that help you feel well, such as eating heathy meals and getting enough sleep. These simple habits can have a big impact, but they’re easy to forget when you're focused on supporting someone else. Use the Be Well app and its resources to help with this.

These self-help guides, produced by specialist organisations, can help with practical advice for managing your wellbeing while supporting others:

Helpful websites

Final thoughts

If you’ve experienced domestic abuse, it’s important to be honest about how you’re feeling and, if you can, seek support. There are services available that can help you to feel safer and protect your wellbeing. Reaching out can be a big step, but you deserve to live free from harm. You are worthy of respect and care. You are not alone.

If you are supporting a friend who is experiencing domestic abuse, your presence and care can make a real difference. If you’re able, listen without judgment, offer reassurance, and encourage them to seek help when they’re ready. And remember to reach out for support yourself. Your wellbeing matters.

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