Exploring your identity can be exciting, confusing, and sometimes overwhelming, but you’re not alone. Whether you’re questioning your sexual orientation or gender identity, looking for guidance on coming out, or simply want to learn more, we’re here to support you.

However you’re feeling right now, know that there’s no rush to define yourself, and you can take things at your own pace.

Why does coming out feel this way?

Coming out is a significant moment and for many is part of a longer journey. It involves sharing a personal part of who you are, which can bring up feelings of vulnerability. It’s natural to feel anxious about how this may happen.

Others may make assumptions about your sexuality and gender, so you can feel like you are hiding part of your identity that you want to share. By taking small, thoughtful steps, you can navigate the coming out process in a way that makes you feel more in control and supported.

What can you do to help now?

If you’re thinking about coming out, there are some simple ways to manage your feelings and prepare yourself. Here are some things to consider:

• There is no right way to come out. Come out when and how you feel comfortable.
• Take your time to reflect on who you want to come out to and why. There’s no rush, you can go at your own pace.
• Think about what else you have going on right now, if you are already juggling other stresses you may want to wait until you feel more prepared. This will allow you to prepare what you want to say and feel more confident.
• If possible, talk to someone you trust, whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or an online support group.
• Writing down your thoughts or practicing how you might bring up the conversation can help you feel more prepared.
  
• Express your gender and sexuality. This could be as part of your coming out journey or just for yourself. Decorate your room in a way that reflects your identity, watch films or read books you relate to.
• If you’re coming out in person, try to do so in a safe, comfortable environment where you feel secure.
• Remember coming out is often a process and you don’t need to tell everyone at once.
• However the conversation goes, remember that your identity is valid, and you deserve support and acceptance.
  
• Try to identify support. Do you have friends or family members who are supportive of LGBTQ+ people to whom you can talk about how you’re feeling?

There are also places within the university you can turn to for support:

• The LGBTQ support and socialise group is a supportive space of like-minded people where you can share experiences and advice based on what others have experienced.
• The LGBTQ society at the SU will have members in a similar position who are questioning their sexuality and/or gender or in the process of coming out. They also have members who have already come out, who will understand where you are at the moment and be able to offer you support.
  
• If you are a doctoral student you may be interested in joining Kaleidoscope, the LGBTQ+ group for University of Bath staff and doctoral students.

Not everyone will react positively, they may be shocked or worried at first. But remember this doesn’t mean this is how they will feel forever. If necessary, give them time and focus on your own wellbeing.

If you experience any behaviour that makes you feel uncomfortable relating to your sexuality, gender or you experience any other discrimination you can report it using Support and Report.

Videos to help with coming out

These videos offer real stories and helpful tips on coming out:

• University of Nottingham students share coming out stories (15 minute watch)
• Ditch the label have top 7 tips for coming out (6 minute watch)

Apps and tools you can use

These apps can support the LGBTQ+ community:

• Everywhere is Queer is an app to help find queer-owned spaces to shop, connect, eat, learn, and grow all over the world.
  
• Zoteria allows you to report anti-LGBTQ+ and hate incidents. It is not connected to the police and should not be used in emergencies. However, if you indicate that you’d like support, the LGBTQ+ charity Galop will reach out to help.

Podcasts to listen to

Podcasts can provide comfort from others who have been through similar experiences:

• Coming Out Pod hosted by Lauren Flans shares coming out stories for people from all walks of life.
• The Outcast Podcast shares coming out stories from inspiring LGBTQ people.
  
• A Little Queer Podcast has an episode on All about coming out.

Helpful websites

• LGBTQ+ guides cover topics such as talking about your sexual orientation and gender identity, bisexuality, support for trans students, and allyship.
• Brook have a helpful coming out guide that contains information and advice about exploring your sexuality and gender identity.
• The mental health charity Mind has a useful webpage on mental health for LGBTQ+ people which includes pages with advice on seeking support, experiences from LGBTQ+ people, and useful contacts for further support.
• Stonewall have a coming out hub full of useful resources and real life people experiences including an allsorts of coming out guide.
• I'm Muslim and I might not be straight is a resource for LGBTQ+ Muslim people offering stories, guidance, and support around faith and identity.

If you would like your student records to reflect a change in identity you are able to change your name, gender and pronouns as a current student.

The SU have a Gender Expression Fund where you can apply for up to £50 to spend on gender-affirming items.

People you can talk to

Coming out is a very personal experience, and support is available to help you navigate it.

• If you feel comfortable, opening up to someone you trust can help you feel less alone. This may be a family member or friend.
• Off the Record in Bath offers support to LGBTQ+ young people including a youth group and one-to-one support.
  
• Switchboard is a listening service for LGBTQ+ people available through phone, email, chat and instant messaging.
  
• The LGBT Foundation have a helpline to contact you to a listening ear or to offer practical signposting to help near you.
  
• Our Student Support Advice Service can also discuss how you are feeling and offer support and advice on the next steps.

Final thoughts

Coming out is a journey that looks different for everyone. No matter where you are in the process, remember that you are valid, and you deserve to be accepted for who you are, support is available for you.

This page was created in partnership with LGBTQ+ individuals, Student Support and students.